Triple Clicks

Friday, August 11, 2017

Confessions of a Mom

I have been rolling this post around in my head for quite some time now... Trying to figure out how to word it without offending somebody.  

But let's face it, somebody is always offended no matter how nicely you say things.   It is not my intention to offend anybody with this post, simply to ask you to think about it.  

So. Here goes it. 

You know that Beatles song?... Was it the Beatles or somebody else... my song guru is sick in bed this morning (hubby).  The one that goes "for everything, turn, turn, turn".  My mom always loved that song, one of the few songs that wasn't Christian I can remember her singing to.  The words are from the Bible.  

(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8) "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:  {2} A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;  {3} A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;  {4} A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;  {5} A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;  {6} A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;  {7} A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;  {8} A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."

I completely understand the feeling of 'ugggghhh why won't the kids go play!!!'.  It seems I've been uttering that phrase more and more myself.  And I feel guilty every time.  Yes, we buy them toys to play with-but sometimes they want to be near us-not upstairs with the toys.  

While on one hand, I can understand the parents who public school wanting the chaos out of the house and the kids back in school, every year it gets under my skin a little bit.  

This year I encountered the attitude in a home school group.  One place I thought I'd never hear it.  

As a momma with littles, I hear a lot "cherish the moments, they will be gone all too soon".  And it drives me a little batty.  When all four kids are grumpy and just want held, or when I don't feel good... I just want them to be a little older so I can rest.  And then I get reminded, in one form or another.  To stop and smell the roses.  My children being at  home won't last forever.  My children WANTING me, wanting to be held by me-NEEDING to be held by me won't last forever.   

God has put me in this season of life and I love (almost) every minute of it.  I will fully admit that I have those days where I just wish there was peace and quiet.  But within the next few days at the most I get reminded that those days will be here all too soon.   

Through choices made, I cannot be a part of my oldest daughter's life as I should be, and it kills me to the core every day.  In almost every way it mirrors an abusive relationship... One person trying anything and everything to get the other to talk to them, the other person only throwing them a spare bone if they do something for them.   There's only so much I can do... so far I can go before I have to back out and cry myself to sleep every day because of it.  Because for me to be the mom I need to be, I cannot be the floor mat for that one child to walk on.  Because of this situation, it helps me to remember to cherish the mom-kid relationships I do have.

Weary momma, I know how tiring it is to hear this.. But please, please read those verses in Ecclesiastes and take them to heart.  Write them on a note card, hang them wherever you can see them the most so you can be reminded.  

There is a season for everything.  

Right now I am in the season of teething babies eating everything they can.  Dirty diapers. Crying, fighting, bickering.  And using the times to teach the  kids how to treat each other.    

I am in the season where I can't always stay up to have one on one time with my husband, but we have both agreed we would rather spend the time as a family and have sparing dates, than be out on a date alone on a regular basis.  While our kids aren't the center of the family, they will only want to spend time with us for so long... We need to nurture that and enjoy that.  

Enjoy the summer vacations when things are crazy.  You'll miss that.  Enjoy the homework times, because soon, they won't need our help.  

Confessions of a mom....  I am not the kind of mom who tries to hide from her kids.  Have I been known to strongly suggest they go play outside for a bit? YES.  But the quiet gets to me after 45 minutes.  I do love the mornings where I actually get 10 minutes with nobody else awake.  It makes me enjoy them all the more when they do wake up. 

I am not the kind of person who can't wait to get out of the house.  Yes, I have found lately that if I can get out and take a walk I feel much better-mostly because the kids feel much better.  For me,  being able to stay home is a gift.  I've been that mom who had to work 40-50 hours a week... I don't like it.  I don't look for excuses to get out.  I want to be content being at home.  I want to teach my kids, especially my girls, that you can be content being a stay at home mom and wife.   You don't need a career outside the home, you don't need something else.  

I have God.  I have my husband.  I have most of my kids.  That is enough.  Everything else is just icing on the cake. 

Have a good week! 


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