Feeling Accomplished

 Well I did it.   After living here for 13 years I FINALLY have 99% of my books on shelves.  The rest are teacher manuals and answer keys that keep put away until needed. 

I mean, I'm feeling pretty accomplished.  I even have extra shelf space-that will remain as extra shelf space... Because who has money for more books? Not us.  But that's ok, we literally have 100s. And i'm thankful for every single one.  

You see, I'm careful with the books we allow and keep.  I want to be intentional.  I want my kids to have shelves full of books they can peruse and read without question as to whether or not they are appropriate.  While we do have 2 shelves of books (mostly computer tech books, but there a few biographies and science fiction books that we do censor to protect young minds).

While I still have lists of books we want, we are going to be more careful and intentional about what is added to our "little" library. 

There are still some shelves that need sorted and I would love to create our own Dewey Decimal system, but for right now, most things are sorted out and at least in like genres.  

Obviously the top of the shelves need some TLC-but we'll get that taken care of eventually-most of the mess is various flash cards that just need a stackable home. 

Sometime down the road we'll paint them all to be the same color... But at least until that white shelf breaks (the only "cheap Walmart shelf", the rest are homemade), we're good.  That one will definitely get replaced when it does break though.  

My husband half-jokingly calls me Belle, for my mini library... But I am thankful for these books we have received from friends, from grandparents who are willing to buy books for presents for the kids and for the ability to print classics off and bind them ourselves that helped to make up our dream library.  

I am also able to get back into reading more... Which is good because I have a stack of books waiting to be approved for young mind consumption.

~Tabitha

  

Catching Up On The Crazy of Life

 We've spent all summer cleaning up the yard from last year's storm damage and the general maintenance that comes with having a ton of trees. I'm thankful for trees, I'm thankful for the shade they provide.  But right now, I'm sick and tired of trees. 

Now we're actually getting onto cleaning out the garage. 

I had great plans this summer.. Building shelves, building things to be able to USE my kitchen cupboards. Well. None of that happened. 

I'm just now getting to a corner bookshelf.  Every time I think I have it done, something else needs adjusted to make it sturdy. :/  I did finally get up the courage to use the circle saw.  Now I feel a little sheepish for not using it earlier.  

My shelves definitely need some reinforcement...But I personally think it doesn't look TOOOO bad.  I'm  debating if I need to budget money for paint... Because I used my boards  to write measurements so I wouldn't loose them lol. 

I've also been re-binding books.  Our poor books are so loved they are literally falling apart.  So I went on YouTube and learned.  Here's a hymnal I've done recently-needed resewn and rebound.  that was quite the experience.  

We'll see how far I get.  

My parents made some other shelves for me.  One of the ones they made was for Barbie supplies for hte girls-it needs some sturdy that can withstand everyone from the one year old to the 11 year old.  The plastic ones from Dollar Tree have lasted about a year now, but I was hoping to find a better solution.  

I also need some sort of storage solution for beside my chair... Which could get interesting as I now have a very comfy-almost too comfy-overstuffed chair.  My husband laughs every time I sit down because I almost disappear in the chair.  

I still want to fix my lack of storage in the kitchen.. and the floor still needs redone.... But, one thing at a time-none of that is counting everything else on my list... 

Anxiety now on high.  

~Tabitha

Sometimes.....

 Sometimes being a parent means you have to put on a happy face. 

Sometimes being a parent means you have to tell your kids everything will be ok-even if you have no idea if everything will be ok. 

Sometimes being a parent means you get the kids in bed and you collapse into yours, crying, and then crying out to God because you are so scared you have no idea what to do next. 

Sometimes....  

Sometimes you might have to break your kids' hearts because you have to think long term... Or you have to take them away from something that they love. Even though you know it's good for them, but the money isn't there or the time..... or simply, the ability.  

The looming thought of the impending heart break.... 

The scrambling, trying to find a way around it. Trying to find a way to not have to break their hearts... Crying because you know that no matter what-it's not going to work.  

Without a miracle.  

Praying, hoping for a miracle. 

But planning, knowing full well that God's answer may be "no". God's answer may be "not here", "not now".  "BE PATIENT, my child."  

Going forward with a plan,  knowing it will take away one of the few constants they have ever known.  Without knowing where you'll go next.  

I'm utterly terrified. 

I know God has a plan-I just wish I knew what his plan was.  

In the meantime, crying when they are not in the room. Planning for what I can plan for-and knowing that there is probably going to be so many more tears to come and not just from me.  

Psalm 89:1 

I will sing of the mercies of the LORD forever:

With my mouth will I make known

thy faithfulness to all

generations. 

1 Peter 5:6-7

Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty

hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:

Casting all your care upon him; 

for he careth for you. 

I just read this through and realized the so many different ways it can be taken, so let me assure you (especially since I think it's mostly family that reads this...) Dennis (my handsome hubby) and I are just fine.  No marriage troubles, I promise.  It's everything else. :) 

~Tabitha