Sometimes.....

 Sometimes being a parent means you have to put on a happy face. 

Sometimes being a parent means you have to tell your kids everything will be ok-even if you have no idea if everything will be ok. 

Sometimes being a parent means you get the kids in bed and you collapse into yours, crying, and then crying out to God because you are so scared you have no idea what to do next. 

Sometimes....  

Sometimes you might have to break your kids' hearts because you have to think long term... Or you have to take them away from something that they love. Even though you know it's good for them, but the money isn't there or the time..... or simply, the ability.  

The looming thought of the impending heart break.... 

The scrambling, trying to find a way around it. Trying to find a way to not have to break their hearts... Crying because you know that no matter what-it's not going to work.  

Without a miracle.  

Praying, hoping for a miracle. 

But planning, knowing full well that God's answer may be "no". God's answer may be "not here", "not now".  "BE PATIENT, my child."  

Going forward with a plan,  knowing it will take away one of the few constants they have ever known.  Without knowing where you'll go next.  

I'm utterly terrified. 

I know God has a plan-I just wish I knew what his plan was.  

In the meantime, crying when they are not in the room. Planning for what I can plan for-and knowing that there is probably going to be so many more tears to come and not just from me.  

Psalm 89:1 

I will sing of the mercies of the LORD forever:

With my mouth will I make known

thy faithfulness to all

generations. 

1 Peter 5:6-7

Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty

hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:

Casting all your care upon him; 

for he careth for you. 

I just read this through and realized the so many different ways it can be taken, so let me assure you (especially since I think it's mostly family that reads this...) Dennis (my handsome hubby) and I are just fine.  No marriage troubles, I promise.  It's everything else. :) 

~Tabitha